Every time I talk about what happened with doctors I cry. But still I'm not strong enough to submit a complaint. I don't want to talk about it, I don't want to remember, I don't want to feel this strange feeling in my body of shame, helplessness, unsafeness and invasive acts.

Doctors need to do better.

It's not ok how many doctors and nurses don't know how to work with traumatized patients.

The female doctor knew what happened and we decided to do the really difficult and hurtful exam under anesthesia.

But when I was brought into the operating/exam room she wasn't there. There were only a male nurse and a male doctor, I was crying, and I was told to get in position before getting anaesthesia.

I was not able to tell them I want the female doctor to be there when I get anaesthesia, I was afraid and overstrained. She was at lunch. The male doctor and the male nurse didn't know or didn't care. They definitely didn't ask me why I was crying and what they could do to help me.

This just added to this pile of little incidents that caused my traumatic reactions to such things.