How to handle the life

I know, there were a time, it was easier. When the pain were easy to swallow. When I could forget. But today I think about you, about these moments with you. And I believe, my disease is not the only reason, that I slept sixteen hours yesterday. I can't remeber the time, when I handled everything by myself. Day by day, the older I get, more things keep smashing me down, more things I need to handle. Where is the air to breathe? I keep thinking it disappears. Who would mind trying to save me?